My most awesome husband Jerry and I used to take our kids to the lake several times a week during the summer. On the weekends Lake Mission Viejo would be wall to wall kids and their parents, all looking for a few hours of fun. We would stake out our little piece of sand, sit back in our collapsable chairs and set the boys free!

Jason loved the water, his boogie board, and most of all making sand castles. He would spend hours playing at the lake, leaving me with wonderful memories of watching him so deep in his creative world.

Matt loved both the water and his sand creations, I think most of all though he loved being in the water with his boogie board. I’ll always remember his joyfullness while playing there.

Jill, her husband Steve, and their 2 boys Patrick & Alex used to join us at the Lake. They’ve all grown up to be such handsome guys and this photo is one that brings all those youthfull times back as if were yesterday.

Now the crying kids at the beach aren’t ours. The sand throwing, the screams, the laughter, even the kids rolling down the grassy hill are all distant memories for Jill and I. Instead we try to tune that out, and when that doesn’t work, we just move further down the beach, where there are no small footprints in the sand and our thoughts can linger for just a while longer on relaxation. ahhhh…….

We met the Bennet family for dinner at one of our favorite places to eat, Mongolian BBQ on El Toro Road. Yum! All in all a very special day!

Bottom Left-Jimmy, Top Left-Matthew, Right-Jason

L to R -Lauren (Greg and Doreen’s youngest daughter), Doreen (Greg’s kind and funny wife!), Sylvia (John’s super sweet wife), Aunt Lou (smart and big of heart), me (looking chunky and older than I’d like), and Amy (John and Sylvia’s daughter).

Following an awesome feast and visit with my family in San Diego, Jerry, Matt, and I headed back to Mission Viejo, where Matt collected Ms Yuki who been waiting patiently for our return, and headed back to his place. Once Matt and Ms Yuki were on their way home Jerry and I headed over to our long time friends Steve and Jill. A delicious dinner was enjoyed at their house, followed by a small celebration for their youngest son Alex’s 22nd birthday!

It’s hard to believe Alex is 22 years old. Jill, Steve, Jerry and I have been celebrating our children’s birthday’s together since Alex and Patrick were wee little folk! Up next for a birthday celebration? Matt in June, who will turn 28! Yikes!

For those of you who may be interested, posted here is a x-ray with dye contrast photo of the epidural needle in my lumbar spinal dura that my anesthesiologist placed there. I had this injection the first week of April and was honestly petrified to have the procedure done. With everything I have had done in my life in the category of health care even this fear seemed irrational to me, but there it was. Still I wasn’t going to pass up the odds given to me that the steroid would help me not only be able to walk again with much less stress and discomfort regarding my back, but also the potential for calming down my Fibromyalgia. I’m was all for tossing the infrequent but necessary use of pain killers that I had been recently and reluctantly taking under my doctor’s supervision. Most importantly I was hoping for an improvement in my personal quality of life. The negative and painful consequences that were mostly invisible to friends and family, were very much alive and hard to live with for my most awesome husband Jerry and I. After the procedure was done I walked out of the Surgi-center feeling hopeful and optimistic, a feeling I had been harboring but strongly trying to squash for fear the said possitive outcome would be a big let down.

The following 2 weeks after the epidural have been a series of personal and emotional ups and downs in realizing and living with these results. In a positive note there has been a huge improvement with the amount of back pain I was experiencing prior to the procedure, even a decrease in the level of nerve pain that would shoot down my back, attack my glutes, race down the nerve highway in the back of my thigh and calf and finish their red hot journey under my foot. The epidural has helped my pain levels and my mobility issues tremendously and I will sign up for another when the time comes, given I can have the same doctor administer it.

My Fibromyalgia seemed gorgeously calm at first and for a brief moment in time I drank that feeling up like it was the sweetest liquor I had ever tasted. No pain. Imagine. None. How many years had it been since I had that feeling? It was almost as if I had been transported into a physically strong and beautiful female version of Jake Sully played by Sam Worthington in one of my favorite new movies Avatar. I was a Na’vi! Of course some of it was from the pain medication given to me for the procedure, this I was aware of. Yet just as my anesthesiologist had said (he gave me a second and changed opinion of the outcome immediately prior to the epidural injection) my Fibromyalgia started sneaking out of the calming blue Na’vi body I was occupying, and reality slowly set back in. Whether or not the new Fibromyalgia medication I am on is partly to blame for the remaining Fibromyalgia pain and strength issues I don’t know yet. I do know my rheumatologist and I will be discussing this and more at my next checkup.

My arthritic and Fibromyalgia riddled body, along with the recent upsetting diagnosis of AIED and Meneire’s Disease have created a highly emotional journey in my life right now. I’m looking for a much needed rest stop exit from this particular unwanted and uninvited “bumpy highway”. May I find strength, acceptance, and a certain calm I know is awaiting me just around the corner. May those around me find empathy, love and a desire to accept and support if they so chose along with the knowledge that I am doing the best I can with what I have. So, who wants to join me in that grove of trees up ahead? There is a green grassy hill, plenty of cool shade and a ice laden drink waiting to comfort us both.

It’s been almost 2 years since my dear friend Pauline has come out from Illinois to California, and a year to the month since Valerie was out here with her father. Both times were related to Valerie and boyfriend Roni’s desire to move to this area, and after a long year full of anticipation Valerie and Roni dreams have come true. Roni is transfering out with his job from Bloomington, IL to Irvine, CA. Valerie will probably transfer within her job as well. So, once again, Pauline and Valerie drove across the states in 2 days and arrived ready to accomplish their goal, to find an apartment for Val and Roni. It was also a great excuse for Pauline and Patty to see each other once again.

As always, Pauline and Valerie looked so pretty, and I was so excited to see each of them. So to honor the time we were going to spend with each other I had my awesome hubby, Jerry, take photos of us. We started out wanting to critique each photo after Jerry took them.

As time went by we got a bit goofy, lightened up a little, and having some usual fun times together. Most of it was caught on Jerry’s camera.

And as usual Pauline and I were giggling and having a bit of fun. Doesn’t Pauline look cute when she thinks she’s gotten away with a little something?

We went a bit further and clowned around, being our usual silly selves. Only with a such a wonderful friend can you truly not care (well, mostly not care) how silly you look.

Pauline ended up bringing her laptop which resulted in us having a lot of fun sitting side by side sharing photos, playing FarmVille, and delighting in the fact that we were indeed right next to each other and not chatting on line long distance.

In between Valerie and Pauline’s search for an apartment we enjoyed eating out at Souplantation as well as feasting on Valeries’ home cooked meals. Can that girl cook! umm, umm, umm!

Catching Pauline in a quiet contemplative mood was a treat for me. I’m not sure why you don’t like this photo Pauline, I sure do. So pretty!

Taking a day off from their tasks, Pauline and Valerie enjoyed a long wonderful day at Disneyland. The weather cooperated and they came home with stories and photos. Ahhhhh!

Pauline and Val took me out to lunch at Oami’s, a favorite Sushi place near by. What a treat, such yummy food and a lot of it too. Thank you girls!

Another fun get together and one that could become a tradition, was inviting one of Pauline’s neighbors from way back when she lived here in Mission Viejo, Jill, on the far right, as well as a friend of mine, Karen on the far left, and now friend of Pauline’s. 3 bottles of wine later and we can all say that we had a great time visiting. Ready to do this again whenever you’re back out here Pauline!

Anxious to spend some time with friends she’s made out here in CA, Valerie left our little wine gab fest early. I had to snap a few photos of mom and daughter.

Isn’t she just adorable? Valerie always knows how to put an outfit together, and always looks so stylish!

The 9 days went by too fast, both Pauline and I agreed on that. Knowing it would not be the last time we saw each other again, and anxious to head home to her sweetheart, Pauline and I were able to keep our goodbyes dry eyed. Valerie will be back in about 3 weeks time, bringing with her her boyfriend Roni and a truck load of furniture. If I know her well enough I’m sure she’ll have a big smile on her face too. Love you girls!

I hate to admit it yet I will. I play FarmVille on Facebook. I am slightly addicted to it. Some might say I’m hugely addicted to it. I would disagree by saying I used to be, hugely addicted to it. Lately I’m losing interest in it due to the fact Zynga hasn’t introduced anything new to the game in some time and it has become stale. I still play but only because I AM NO QUITTER! I started playing FarmVille because it is an escape for me. I can relax with my laptop, visit with the friends I have made while playing the game and not think about things. Several of my friends play this game, 1 from high school, several who live in other states, even my sister. I’ve also made new friends, friends of friends, who as it has turned out have some of the same health conditions that I do. This has made the game a little more special because we end up chatting about our lives while we plow each other fields, or share our collections of farm tools. So in honor of all that is FarmVille I made this card and bought 2 little wind up toys at Michaels Crafts Store. Fun and silly. Yup, kind of sums up part of what is me.

It started quite some time ago when I began experiencing the unpleasant side effects of one of the newer drugs I was taking to treat the disease. I kept in close contact with my doctor and eventually changed from this new SNRI (serontonin-neropinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to another anti-depressant commonly use to treat Fibromyalgia. When the side effects of this new medication began taking its toll on me, my rheumatologist and I decided together to see how my Fibromyalgia would react without the aid of any medication, something I hadn’t done in years.

Going off these drugs must be done slowly, stepping down week by week until you are off of them. Even though I’ve been treating my disease with these medications for some time I would still have flare ups, some of them for what I knew at that time, to be fairly bad. By the second and third week stepping off this last medication I could tell the changes that were happening to my pressure and trigger points was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The hardest hit ones were in my calves and thighs, although my arms and shoulders were also experiencing extreme pain, tenderness and muscle weakness. And yet I honestly kept thinking it would get better, that I just needed to rest more. When I could no longer stand or walk because of the pain and weakness I figured it was time to call the doctor to make an appointment and had my awesome husband Jerry take time off work to drive me in.

I have been with this rheumatologist for a long time, trust her completely and was happy with our next plan of attack. Rest, change of medications, for both my fibromyalgia and my rheumatoid arthritis and a short course of steroids followed by a checkup. Oh and patience. Plenty of that. I am very fortunate I don’t have to work outside the home. Like I said before I am grateful and thankful for my awesome husband, without him I could not focus on my health. I am going to get better, it may take me longer than I like, but I am focused on that positive outcome.

For those of you who are skeptic about my course of treatment or who believe in alternative therapies, or even have a whole different idea of how one should go about treating this or any other kind of illness I will just say this. To each their own. I have tried many other kinds of treatments. I do not believe in using pain pills alone as treatment for my conditions. There are many theories on how to treat this disease, please do not judge me.

For some additional home massage treatment I use the items shown in the photo above. The hand held massager is one I’ve had for years, it is a Homedics brand and has several variable speeds. I have tried several other brands over the years yet keep coming back to this heavy duty massager as my favorite.

The tennis ball may seem like a impossible massage tool but placed inside a sock it can become very useful. Hang on to either end of the sock, lean up against the wall with the ball against your back on a pressure point and dig deep. Sweet relief!

The S Hook Massager can be found on line or at your local Mother’s Market. While not cheap, they work really well at quick release work on your pressure points. Excessive digging with this tool will only aggravate your pressure points so do be careful.

The large dense white massage roll is an excellent way to work on your back while getting an arm workout at the same time. They are also good for IT Band massage or glute massage. These rolls can be purchased on line or at a larger local medical supply in your area. Instructions on how to use them can be found on line.

I hope that by sharing some of my story you can better understand what it is like to live with this frustrating and silent illness, Fibromyalgia. Coupled with several arthritis’s, and Sjogren’s Syndrome it can be challenging at times. What you see is not always all there is. Be kind and patient, take time to look beneath the surface and I believe we will all be better for it.

A few weeks back when Matt and I took her into the vet because she was unable to bring her back legs up and get into a standing position I never expected to hear the him say she should have a sedentary lifestyle from here on out. Xrays of her back showed her discs to be in different states of chaos. Several discs up towards her neck area are fusing together, a result of the trauma she suffered from her being hit by the truck. Almost all the other discs have little to no space in between, are full of degeneration and bone spurs. As a result the vet said he was amazed that she even recovered and could walk after her amputation. Yet despite all this Ms Yuki has a happy heart. She shows such love and enthusiasm when she enters our house which of course makes us happy. Keeping her down will be another story. How do you ask a young puppy, because she still is that, barely 3, to live like a 15 year old dog? We love you Ms Yuki, thank you for bringing such joy to our lives. You are a blessing and a treasure.