Browsing through our collected pictures over the years I realized choosing those to share was harder than I thought. Every picture seemed too important to leave out, as it should be. It was then I decided to create a few collages of only a small part of our 40 years together. Mind you, these collages contain just our immediate family. To encompass all that we have lived through, all we have held dear and lost would be impossible. It would also take a lot of explaining, and who has time for that?

We both have been fortunate to live and stay in California. Something I know we love and appreciate, though I’m not saying anywhere else in the U.S. doesn’t have it’s charm. We’ve grown accustomed to the warmer climate (dang it was cold here last week, wasn’t it?), having all the amenities’ close by (can you believe that commute?), and since the last 28 years, living comfortably in a nice home. We’ve learned (ok, still learning) the grace of living harmoniously. We’ve seen the wrinkles on our faces and the graying and thinning of our hair happen at a slow, consistent pace. Our hearing is pretty much shot too. It is here where I will offer advice, because I know this much works: If you haven’t understood but a few words your spouse has just said to you, fake it. I’d say you have a pretty good chance of making them believe you’ve heard every single word. Last but not least, tell them you’ve just faked it. That kind of honesty earns you points!

Jerry and I have created and loved three beautiful boys, Jimmy, Jason and Matthew. We’ve mourned the loss of our oldest and held the younger two close to our hearts, though not always close in distance. They’ve all made us proud, teaching us how to handle a life not so fortunate and often accomplishing more than we know we ever will in our lifetimes. Children are a wonderful extension of ourselves, we watch them struggle with our weakness and find joy in our strengths. They teach us more than we realize and make us grateful in so many ways. It’s hard to believe James would have been 39 years old, that Jason is almost 33 years old, and Matthew fast approaching the big 30. Is that right Matt? Geezzzz…oh, sorry hon On that note, Happy 40th anniversary to ourselves, and love, as always. to my family.

Our families became friends, and during the day while my husband Jerry was at work I started babysitting several neighborhood children. Eventually this included watching Patrick. Our youngest son Matthew who wasn’t in school yet really enjoyed helping with Patrick. He used to wait on the sidewalk for Jill to bring him from across the street. In May of 1985 Jerry and I bought our first house. Shortly after the Bennets moved into a bigger home within walking distance of our house. They welcomed their second son Alex a few years after Patrick was born, much like our family.

It was during this time that our 2 families starting getting together during the holidays and summers. Halloween was always fun, trading costumes or carving pumpkins. Summers at the nearby Lake Mission Viejo were a fun outing. Thanksgiving dinner became a tradition, as did taking a photo with both families seated at the dinner table. As always, time marches on. As the kids grew up the parents counted their birthdays with more celebrating. We began adding Christmas, Easter, and birthdays in addition to other special events in our lives as a great excuse to get together.

Our son Jason moved out of our home, (this photo shows a mock sword fight between our two boys) during Christmas break. Matt graduated from high school and then ventured on to UCI in Irvine, a college where Jill had graduated from.

While Matthew ventured into photography, Jason continued to live up north enjoying the great outdoors. Jerry made buds with a local srub jay whom he named Jay. Patrick and then Alex attended UCI, both in medical majors. The parents were proud.

Our families continued to spend time together, marking anniversaries as they passed, enjoying the 4th of July fireworks at Lake Mission Viejo. During the summer we house sat for each other during our vacations. (Patrick and Alex shown in this photo in Hawaii.)

June of 2005 our youngest son Matt graduated from UCI with a major in Digital Arts. We are of course very proud of this accomplishment. Naturally the Bennet family attended and celebrated. More was to come of course.

Left to right, Steve Bennet, Patrick, Matthew and his father Jerry.

In 2006 Patrick followed in his mother Jill and friend Matthews footsteps when he graduated from UCI with a degree in Biological Science. At the ceremony I reflected on my memories of Patrick. The first time I met him I was surprised at what a big baby he was, all 11 plus pounds! With a mothers heart I remembered watching a video of him reading a speech when he was in kindergarten. How could that little boy be the same person as this grown young man?

In 2010 Patricks younger brother Alex also graduated from UCI with a degree in Biological Science. Although not as tall as his brother Patrick, Alex stood proudly both over his parents and my husband Jerry and I. I felt my heart swell as if I were Alex and Patricks mother watching both boys graduate. To have witnessed their rise to adulthood and to remain close friends is a great honor for me.

And still the years pass, even swifter now. All 4 boys have become men. Being friends with the Bennets throughout all these years is a truly wonderful feeling. A lifetime of joy.

I have become a mother of 5. How awesome is that?

Handed a ticket to this event I over time became unsure if I could attend. A decision which made my heart sink with sadness. Thankfully at the end wonderful friends of Patricks offered me a ride to the Pasadena Auditorium with them. A huge thank you go out to Piper and Gerard! You rock!

The staff of the Asclepius (had to look that one up!) was lit on the wall in the auditorium, never letting us forget for a moment that at the end of this ceremony we would be exiting with a lot of doctors!

The 2011 Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine graduates had their fair share of speakers. I enjoyed several of them, although I think I liked the class Vision Statement the most. “I will always be an advocate for my patients and treat them with compassion” is just one part of that statement that I’ve felt time and time again when I walk out of several doctor’s office’s.

As Patrick walked across the stage I thought “It’s almost official. I’ll have to start my calling my friend a doctor in a few minutes!”

Can you see the pride in Steve and Jill’s faces? Congratulations Dr. Bennet!

With all the activity outside the auditorium following the graduation it seemed almost overwhelming at times. Once Patrick arrived though our purpose was clear. Let’s congratulate the doctor!

Have you noticed how Patrick already looks different? It may be that he’s practicing his patience smile what with all the cameras around. Two very handsome young men standing side by side.

I was sorry to learn that the graduates did not get to keep their sashes’s. I felt they earned them with all their hard work over the last few years. I later heard comments that they were always sliding off their shoulders.

Patrick had quite a few graduating friends coming by to get their picture taken with him. His good friend Lauren here is taking just one of many.

At last it is my turn, friend to friend, Dr. Bennet and friend. Who know’s someday maybe Dr. Bennet and patient?

You never know what might happen right!

If only I could have seen them,
my 1st and 2nd born.
Laughing, chatting and loving
My 3 boys, my heart, and more.

Jimmy, like so many others,
has left my life, not my heart.
Now with family and friends forever,
all never far apart.

Jason ever the quiet one,
a special place deep in my soul.
I treasure our wonderful moments,
and wish for even more.

Ah, the joys of my Matthew,
so close and so dear,
blessed to be with him,
so happy to be near.

As years pass swiftly now,
the gray and aches abound.
Those dreams are still within me,
though seldom make a sound.

What if’s, and all the maybe’s,
possibilities were always there.
My children mingled tightly,
all without a care.

Living and growing older,
together as every family should.
Somehow not meant to be,
dreams, lives, and brotherhood.

Maybe someday far, far, in the future,
if there ever is a place.
These 3 of my body and heart,
will meet face to face.

For now I am their mother,
dreaming as I always have.
Wishes larger than life could ever hold,
Making me heartfully sad.

Moving on to be grateful,
I could never forget.
What could have been, what is now,
with never a single regret.

Remembering just a few of those so very dear to me who are now gone. Love you all.

Patricia Fuller
Mothers Day 2011

Since it fell in the middle of the week, Jerry took Jason’s birthday off and the 3 of us went for a walk through one of our local wilderness parks. It had rained for 2 days prior, so we couldn’t go on a hike like we had planned. Still the sun was out, and we had a great time.

That evening, we drove up to Matt’s house for Jason’s birthday dinner. While at Matt’s new place we decided to take a few family photos.

I never like how my picture turns out, but I wasn’t about to miss a chance to be with my sons again. All in all the visit was bittersweet. Hoping in my heart that it is not as long next time until we see each other again.

My most awesome husband Jerry and I used to take our kids to the lake several times a week during the summer. On the weekends Lake Mission Viejo would be wall to wall kids and their parents, all looking for a few hours of fun. We would stake out our little piece of sand, sit back in our collapsable chairs and set the boys free!

Jason loved the water, his boogie board, and most of all making sand castles. He would spend hours playing at the lake, leaving me with wonderful memories of watching him so deep in his creative world.

Matt loved both the water and his sand creations, I think most of all though he loved being in the water with his boogie board. I’ll always remember his joyfullness while playing there.

Jill, her husband Steve, and their 2 boys Patrick & Alex used to join us at the Lake. They’ve all grown up to be such handsome guys and this photo is one that brings all those youthfull times back as if were yesterday.

Now the crying kids at the beach aren’t ours. The sand throwing, the screams, the laughter, even the kids rolling down the grassy hill are all distant memories for Jill and I. Instead we try to tune that out, and when that doesn’t work, we just move further down the beach, where there are no small footprints in the sand and our thoughts can linger for just a while longer on relaxation. ahhhh…….

L to R -Lauren (Greg and Doreen’s youngest daughter), Doreen (Greg’s kind and funny wife!), Sylvia (John’s super sweet wife), Aunt Lou (smart and big of heart), me (looking chunky and older than I’d like), and Amy (John and Sylvia’s daughter).

Following an awesome feast and visit with my family in San Diego, Jerry, Matt, and I headed back to Mission Viejo, where Matt collected Ms Yuki who been waiting patiently for our return, and headed back to his place. Once Matt and Ms Yuki were on their way home Jerry and I headed over to our long time friends Steve and Jill. A delicious dinner was enjoyed at their house, followed by a small celebration for their youngest son Alex’s 22nd birthday!

It’s hard to believe Alex is 22 years old. Jill, Steve, Jerry and I have been celebrating our children’s birthday’s together since Alex and Patrick were wee little folk! Up next for a birthday celebration? Matt in June, who will turn 28! Yikes!

A few weeks back when Matt and I took her into the vet because she was unable to bring her back legs up and get into a standing position I never expected to hear the him say she should have a sedentary lifestyle from here on out. Xrays of her back showed her discs to be in different states of chaos. Several discs up towards her neck area are fusing together, a result of the trauma she suffered from her being hit by the truck. Almost all the other discs have little to no space in between, are full of degeneration and bone spurs. As a result the vet said he was amazed that she even recovered and could walk after her amputation. Yet despite all this Ms Yuki has a happy heart. She shows such love and enthusiasm when she enters our house which of course makes us happy. Keeping her down will be another story. How do you ask a young puppy, because she still is that, barely 3, to live like a 15 year old dog? We love you Ms Yuki, thank you for bringing such joy to our lives. You are a blessing and a treasure.

This year we dined at Lucille’s, and our son Matt joined us. The food was plentiful and delicious. You may wonder why I didn’t use photoshop on this particular photo to correct Terry’s eyes. In actuality I did. He just occassionaly gets a wee bit of the pirate in him that even a fancy program can’t fix!

We came home to extend the birthday celebration a bit longer with a cake and presents. Cake toppers are kind of Terry and my department. This year for Karen we found a small Belle figure, and for Jerry I brought out of his own personal archives Ken, the street fighter character from a Nintendo game. After cake and ice cream, we opened gifts, which ended up including a couple of awesome blu-ray discs for Jerry. Steve and Jill gave Jerry one on the coral reefs so we all settled in and were awed not only by the quality of blu-ray HD but also by the new TV that we have! The movie was good too!

Earlier in the day Matt came down with his new bike and Yuki. We have some wonderful trails out here that make for great bike riding and Matt was able to get in a good 1/2 hour bike ride before we headed out to eat.

While this photograph turned out a bit blurry I still had to post it to show Ms Yuki sitting by grandpa. She came and did this on her own, she’s slowly warming up to him and it’s wonderful to see. We always love having Matt and Yuki down for a visit.

Karen’s husband Terry also joined in the festivities, shown in a more subdued un Disney-like moment! (jk).

Patrick, being his usual fun self, decided to keep the party lively by shooting off straw papers. Pat sent some flying herself, but thankfully that wasn’t documented by the family photographer, Pat and Jerry’s son Matt.

Jill’s other half/husband Steve and their youngest son Alex were also at the table, as was Pat’s husband Jerry, although he managed to stay outside the cameras range.

The most excellent waitress who served our table caught wind of the birthday festivities and brought a chocolate cake to Pat and Patrick. Matt being the ever great son and photographer snapped off a nice pic of his mom. Thanks son!

Back at the house another cake was lit to the point of fire while Matt took more mandatory photos for the albums!

Again Patrick being the comedian, kept us laughing while Matt kept snapping. sweet

And yes Yuki was front and center whether she liked it or not, while everyone gathered round while presents were opened.

I’d like to send out a big thank you to my most awesome family, my husband who’s always there for me, through ups and downs no questions asked always supporting me, and my son Matt, who is a 1 in a million son. My friends are awesome too, thank you everyone for a wonderful bd that stretched beyond 1 day, and meant a lot to me. Patrick, I loved sharing it with you. We might have started a tradition. Next year we could celebrate ours on your day! (thus putting off getting another year older for a few more weeks!)

He also quoted Yuki as saying:

“I’m a cheater of death. I was rescued from an abusive home that left me to die tied to a fence, escaped death-row at the shelter on the 11th hour and survived being hit by a truck. Although I lost a leg in the accident, I haven’t let it slow me down!”

All images on this post are copyright of CreativeRampancy
photography by our son, Matthew Fuller.