Browsing through our collected pictures over the years I realized choosing those to share was harder than I thought. Every picture seemed too important to leave out, as it should be. It was then I decided to create a few collages of only a small part of our 40 years together. Mind you, these collages contain just our immediate family. To encompass all that we have lived through, all we have held dear and lost would be impossible. It would also take a lot of explaining, and who has time for that?

We both have been fortunate to live and stay in California. Something I know we love and appreciate, though I’m not saying anywhere else in the U.S. doesn’t have it’s charm. We’ve grown accustomed to the warmer climate (dang it was cold here last week, wasn’t it?), having all the amenities’ close by (can you believe that commute?), and since the last 28 years, living comfortably in a nice home. We’ve learned (ok, still learning) the grace of living harmoniously. We’ve seen the wrinkles on our faces and the graying and thinning of our hair happen at a slow, consistent pace. Our hearing is pretty much shot too. It is here where I will offer advice, because I know this much works: If you haven’t understood but a few words your spouse has just said to you, fake it. I’d say you have a pretty good chance of making them believe you’ve heard every single word. Last but not least, tell them you’ve just faked it. That kind of honesty earns you points!

Jerry and I have created and loved three beautiful boys, Jimmy, Jason and Matthew. We’ve mourned the loss of our oldest and held the younger two close to our hearts, though not always close in distance. They’ve all made us proud, teaching us how to handle a life not so fortunate and often accomplishing more than we know we ever will in our lifetimes. Children are a wonderful extension of ourselves, we watch them struggle with our weakness and find joy in our strengths. They teach us more than we realize and make us grateful in so many ways. It’s hard to believe James would have been 39 years old, that Jason is almost 33 years old, and Matthew fast approaching the big 30. Is that right Matt? Geezzzz…oh, sorry hon On that note, Happy 40th anniversary to ourselves, and love, as always. to my family.

To begin with I’ve never seen so many children at Soup before. They seemed to outnumber the adults 10 to 1. The sign was up by the register to “please wait to be seated”. We saw the outdoor patio looked mostly empty so we asked the manager if we could go ahead and pick our seats out there instead of waiting. After a kind yes the manager carried my tray for me making it a bit easier to navigate the maze like pattern of people all around us. We set our plates pilled high of salad down on the table and started walking towards the food bar to gather the rest of our glutinous meal.

The food bar area is much like an intersection if you will, without the stop signs or light signals. Since there are no guidelines to show you where to wait your turn, the true colors of a persons character emerge like your last drink on its way back up your esphogus. With the kids out numbering adults 10 to 1, I decided it was best to proceed with caution. Children were filling their glasses with every single flavor of soda possible, waiting knee deep in line for the apple cobbler Jerry said he never saw (I sent him out for refills and dessert too afraid to venture out on my own), and eating macaroni and cheese from the pasta bar with their sticky fingers. How many ways can I say “eewwww”? The line for the multi-flavored soda fountain was 5 to 6 people deep with a young boy in front of me as I waited my turn. Just as it was this boys turn to fill his glass he turned around, looked at me and offered to let me go ahead of him! I snapped myself out of the shock that had quickly set in and kindly told him, “thank you so very much, that was very kind, you go ahead.” See I have manners and apparently one child at Souplantation that night did too.

Balancing my full drink and tray with one hand, using my cane in the other I gathered my soup bowls and starteded heading over to the soup line. There was only one person ahead of me so I felt fairly confident I could take those few steps to the counter and set my tray down without tripping then sending my high calorie drink flying all over an underdressed teenager. While cautiously walking I saw the long row of deep stainless steel barrels of soup and was trying to decide “diet” or “just this once”, when out of the corner of my eye I saw 2 girls, probably 10 and 7 years old, running at a small gallop right towards me. There wasn’t enough time or any way possible to move my sorry ass out of the way quick enough, and as far as the girls were concerned I was invisible. Before I could say “woah nelly”, while really meaning, “what the hell?” both girls ran smack into my left side stomping on both my feet. The scene that followed was quite awesome as I contorted like an acrobat on a high wire, my cane flailing around my body as if to protect me, I handled my tray as if I were a pro juggler. And then it was over. The 10 and 7 year old were in front of me laughing and giggling as if they tripped over their favortie stuffed toy. And I was behind them quite shaken and in disbelief. Moving faster than I should have and before I could control my tonque, I loudly exclaimed “That was incredibly rude what you just did. Both of you need to get out of line now.” Much to my surprise they cleared the area ahead of me and I felt a bit of calm come over my body. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was still amazed that there was not a single word uttered, no apology, no eye contact, the girls just moved out of line like a couple of blind sheep being guided by a limp, old herding dog. Willing myself to calm down I once again started to focus on the soup, with “just this once” now turned into “I sure as hell deserve this” in the line up of delectible choices. While lifting the first full ladel of tomato onion into my bowl I felt my elbow get slighty knudged from the left. Looking over my shoulder I saw the same two girls, chattering a mile a minute while going about their business and again completely ignoring me and the fact that they were all over my personal space and then some. My frustration quickly resurfaced and all images of my contorted angry face got left behind while I said even louder “Girls, get out of this line, go back to your seats and let this nice lady waiting behind you help herself first.” What happened to my mouth next I’m sure showed up on my face like a huge gaping tunnel a semi could have driven through. Immediately following my comment about letting the “nice lady” I had just suggested the girls let go ahead of them, said woman sarcasticly and with a slight snicker uttered, “that’s alright, they’re with me”.My mouth opened wide in a repeat preformance of Semi’s Going Through Huge Tunnel’s. “Oh!” I said to Ms Nice Lady watching her stand with her hand on her old lady jeans. “Did you see they just trampled over me?” Again with a snicker, this blonde, short haired woman looking more like the wicked witch of the west than I, said “No, I didn’t”. How dare I insult her by saying her child misbehaved while she was busy overfilling her plate and no where near her kids. By now with almost a complete lack of words I felt would be useful or appropriate I replied with what was now my turn to say snickerlying “Oh, I see, that explains everything!”, and turned away trying to finish filling my soup.

From there on out the Snickety MoWitch and her two stampeding girls were behind me filling their trays with soup, potatoes, bread, you name it. I tried hard not to notice anything about them wanting to push this whole scenario out of my mind as quickly as possible. I skipped filling my tray with the “you deserve it” because honestly I’d already made myself a mountainous salad to eat,and moved on to cautiously making my way back to our table on the patio. Feeling strangely happy to leave Souplantation’s famous all you can eat Soup,bread,pasta, and dessert bar I silently made a mental note to never go to a resturant at 6:30 again! Ever! I proceeded slowly to the outside patio table where my husband was waiting for me.

From our patio table I was facing a window in which I could clearly see into the resturant as well as the door right beside the window that seperated the two areas. During our entire dinner that glass door became what I now refer to it as “the revolving door of nicety”. I decided right then and there these people in the outside patio area must have taken a class in “treat others as you would like them to treat you”. In other words everyone that had any ounce of decency had come out to join us. They were there to celebrate my mature and responsible action to a couple of wild unattentended children. Well, not exactly, but this story does sound better like that doesn’t it? Still, to share this end of the story I must admit every single man, lady, girl or boy with the exception of one young asian boy who clearly thought he was a king in a foreign country by showing his strength by keeping his hands in his pockets at all time, opened or held open the glass door that led them into the resturant. In fact I probably heard more “please, you first”, or “why, thank you” and “you’re welcome” more than I had in the last year while dinning in public. In fact the next time we eat at Souplantation, and we will, that is where Jerry and I are going to sit. Because only the nice people are allowed to use the revolving door of nicety.

The tile we chose is a 14″ x 14″ porcelain tile that has a look similiar to flagstone. It runs from the living room, through the kitchen, and into the TV room. We also had tile laid in the hallway, all of which matches the tile we had put in our bathrooms 2 years ago. The colors on the wall are not as intense as they appear in the photo. The living room and TV room are painted a pale green, while the hallway and the kitchen are painted a pale aqua. We are very pleased how well browns in the carpet, couch and valance’s goes with these colors.

After much discussion we decided to tile the fireplace. It had small reddish bricks around the opening and it had been laid crooked. Overall I never liked it from the day we bought the house.

Once finished and with the pencil border around the opening of the fireplace, we definately loved it. Eventually we want to buy some new logs, this is a gas fireplace, or maybe a different type of display all together.

It is so wonderful to see a straight line of tile from the living room through the kitchen and into the TV room. Makes it so easy to keep clean too! Thanks to Joe DeCillo and crew for a great, timely job!

Carpet on top of tile on top of more tile showcased the original once sought after wood grain tile linolium. It was interesting to watch the whole process of taking out the carpet, linolium and tile. 2 unawesome discoveries in the living room led to a short delay on the time frame and a big kaching on the pocketbook. The living room has a fairly large crack across the middle of the room. Where the crack is the biggest there was a rise of about 3/8th of an inch. In about 3 hours Joe DeCillio’s company ground down the 3/8″ rise. The large kaching to the pocketbook came when we discovered subterranium termites on the living room wall. Several years back we dealt with another nest of subterranium termites in a different area resulting in opening and drilling the inside of the wall and in the floor concrete. Always unpleasant stuff. Early next week the job continues….

Our families became friends, and during the day while my husband Jerry was at work I started babysitting several neighborhood children. Eventually this included watching Patrick. Our youngest son Matthew who wasn’t in school yet really enjoyed helping with Patrick. He used to wait on the sidewalk for Jill to bring him from across the street. In May of 1985 Jerry and I bought our first house. Shortly after the Bennets moved into a bigger home within walking distance of our house. They welcomed their second son Alex a few years after Patrick was born, much like our family.

It was during this time that our 2 families starting getting together during the holidays and summers. Halloween was always fun, trading costumes or carving pumpkins. Summers at the nearby Lake Mission Viejo were a fun outing. Thanksgiving dinner became a tradition, as did taking a photo with both families seated at the dinner table. As always, time marches on. As the kids grew up the parents counted their birthdays with more celebrating. We began adding Christmas, Easter, and birthdays in addition to other special events in our lives as a great excuse to get together.

Our son Jason moved out of our home, (this photo shows a mock sword fight between our two boys) during Christmas break. Matt graduated from high school and then ventured on to UCI in Irvine, a college where Jill had graduated from.

While Matthew ventured into photography, Jason continued to live up north enjoying the great outdoors. Jerry made buds with a local srub jay whom he named Jay. Patrick and then Alex attended UCI, both in medical majors. The parents were proud.

Our families continued to spend time together, marking anniversaries as they passed, enjoying the 4th of July fireworks at Lake Mission Viejo. During the summer we house sat for each other during our vacations. (Patrick and Alex shown in this photo in Hawaii.)

June of 2005 our youngest son Matt graduated from UCI with a major in Digital Arts. We are of course very proud of this accomplishment. Naturally the Bennet family attended and celebrated. More was to come of course.

Left to right, Steve Bennet, Patrick, Matthew and his father Jerry.

In 2006 Patrick followed in his mother Jill and friend Matthews footsteps when he graduated from UCI with a degree in Biological Science. At the ceremony I reflected on my memories of Patrick. The first time I met him I was surprised at what a big baby he was, all 11 plus pounds! With a mothers heart I remembered watching a video of him reading a speech when he was in kindergarten. How could that little boy be the same person as this grown young man?

In 2010 Patricks younger brother Alex also graduated from UCI with a degree in Biological Science. Although not as tall as his brother Patrick, Alex stood proudly both over his parents and my husband Jerry and I. I felt my heart swell as if I were Alex and Patricks mother watching both boys graduate. To have witnessed their rise to adulthood and to remain close friends is a great honor for me.

And still the years pass, even swifter now. All 4 boys have become men. Being friends with the Bennets throughout all these years is a truly wonderful feeling. A lifetime of joy.

I have become a mother of 5. How awesome is that?

Handed a ticket to this event I over time became unsure if I could attend. A decision which made my heart sink with sadness. Thankfully at the end wonderful friends of Patricks offered me a ride to the Pasadena Auditorium with them. A huge thank you go out to Piper and Gerard! You rock!

The staff of the Asclepius (had to look that one up!) was lit on the wall in the auditorium, never letting us forget for a moment that at the end of this ceremony we would be exiting with a lot of doctors!

The 2011 Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine graduates had their fair share of speakers. I enjoyed several of them, although I think I liked the class Vision Statement the most. “I will always be an advocate for my patients and treat them with compassion” is just one part of that statement that I’ve felt time and time again when I walk out of several doctor’s office’s.

As Patrick walked across the stage I thought “It’s almost official. I’ll have to start my calling my friend a doctor in a few minutes!”

Can you see the pride in Steve and Jill’s faces? Congratulations Dr. Bennet!

With all the activity outside the auditorium following the graduation it seemed almost overwhelming at times. Once Patrick arrived though our purpose was clear. Let’s congratulate the doctor!

Have you noticed how Patrick already looks different? It may be that he’s practicing his patience smile what with all the cameras around. Two very handsome young men standing side by side.

I was sorry to learn that the graduates did not get to keep their sashes’s. I felt they earned them with all their hard work over the last few years. I later heard comments that they were always sliding off their shoulders.

Patrick had quite a few graduating friends coming by to get their picture taken with him. His good friend Lauren here is taking just one of many.

At last it is my turn, friend to friend, Dr. Bennet and friend. Who know’s someday maybe Dr. Bennet and patient?

You never know what might happen right!

If only I could have seen them,
my 1st and 2nd born.
Laughing, chatting and loving
My 3 boys, my heart, and more.

Jimmy, like so many others,
has left my life, not my heart.
Now with family and friends forever,
all never far apart.

Jason ever the quiet one,
a special place deep in my soul.
I treasure our wonderful moments,
and wish for even more.

Ah, the joys of my Matthew,
so close and so dear,
blessed to be with him,
so happy to be near.

As years pass swiftly now,
the gray and aches abound.
Those dreams are still within me,
though seldom make a sound.

What if’s, and all the maybe’s,
possibilities were always there.
My children mingled tightly,
all without a care.

Living and growing older,
together as every family should.
Somehow not meant to be,
dreams, lives, and brotherhood.

Maybe someday far, far, in the future,
if there ever is a place.
These 3 of my body and heart,
will meet face to face.

For now I am their mother,
dreaming as I always have.
Wishes larger than life could ever hold,
Making me heartfully sad.

Moving on to be grateful,
I could never forget.
What could have been, what is now,
with never a single regret.

Remembering just a few of those so very dear to me who are now gone. Love you all.

Patricia Fuller
Mothers Day 2011

Since it fell in the middle of the week, Jerry took Jason’s birthday off and the 3 of us went for a walk through one of our local wilderness parks. It had rained for 2 days prior, so we couldn’t go on a hike like we had planned. Still the sun was out, and we had a great time.

That evening, we drove up to Matt’s house for Jason’s birthday dinner. While at Matt’s new place we decided to take a few family photos.

I never like how my picture turns out, but I wasn’t about to miss a chance to be with my sons again. All in all the visit was bittersweet. Hoping in my heart that it is not as long next time until we see each other again.

As a special treat to ourselves we booked a 2 hour excursion on the Segway Off Road Tour of the park.

After a bit of training we headed out into the fenced area that surrounds the actual park where the animals reside. We made frequent stops to rest, and to take pictures.

On the second day of our visit to the park, we saw almost all of the animals that live there. The South African Cheetah was probably my favorite. They are such elegant animals.

After watching the tv show MeerKat Manor, it was great fun to study the Meerkats in their home at the park. These little animals have such character.

The vastness of the park and the scenery were breathtaking. Many of the flowering plants were showing their true colors.

We saw this island while we were on the Tram Tour of the park. It’s heart shape captured my eye.

The next time we go to the parks I will have to find out the name of this stunning tree with blossoms similiar to my hydrangeas. It was gorgeous!

We will be going back again in the near future, if anyone wants to join us it would be great!

The trees surrounding the walk way were blooming in beautiful clusters of white flowers.

We stayed late enough for the perfect hour as our son Matt, the photographer likes to call it. 4:00 to 4:30 and the scenery takes on a life of it’s own. It ws a very relaxing way to spend a Sunday afternoon.