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For those of you who may be interested, posted here is a x-ray with dye contrast photo of the epidural needle in my lumbar spinal dura that my anesthesiologist placed there. I had this injection the first week of April and was honestly petrified to have the procedure done. With everything I have had done in my life in the category of health care even this fear seemed irrational to me, but there it was. Still I wasn’t going to pass up the odds given to me that the steroid would help me not only be able to walk again with much less stress and discomfort regarding my back, but also the potential for calming down my Fibromyalgia. I’m was all for tossing the infrequent but necessary use of pain killers that I had been recently and reluctantly taking under my doctor’s supervision. Most importantly I was hoping for an improvement in my personal quality of life. The negative and painful consequences that were mostly invisible to friends and family, were very much alive and hard to live with for my most awesome husband Jerry and I. After the procedure was done I walked out of the Surgi-center feeling hopeful and optimistic, a feeling I had been harboring but strongly trying to squash for fear the said possitive outcome would be a big let down.

The following 2 weeks after the epidural have been a series of personal and emotional ups and downs in realizing and living with these results. In a positive note there has been a huge improvement with the amount of back pain I was experiencing prior to the procedure, even a decrease in the level of nerve pain that would shoot down my back, attack my glutes, race down the nerve highway in the back of my thigh and calf and finish their red hot journey under my foot. The epidural has helped my pain levels and my mobility issues tremendously and I will sign up for another when the time comes, given I can have the same doctor administer it.

My Fibromyalgia seemed gorgeously calm at first and for a brief moment in time I drank that feeling up like it was the sweetest liquor I had ever tasted. No pain. Imagine. None. How many years had it been since I had that feeling? It was almost as if I had been transported into a physically strong and beautiful female version of Jake Sully played by Sam Worthington in one of my favorite new movies Avatar. I was a Na’vi! Of course some of it was from the pain medication given to me for the procedure, this I was aware of. Yet just as my anesthesiologist had said (he gave me a second and changed opinion of the outcome immediately prior to the epidural injection) my Fibromyalgia started sneaking out of the calming blue Na’vi body I was occupying, and reality slowly set back in. Whether or not the new Fibromyalgia medication I am on is partly to blame for the remaining Fibromyalgia pain and strength issues I don’t know yet. I do know my rheumatologist and I will be discussing this and more at my next checkup.

My arthritic and Fibromyalgia riddled body, along with the recent upsetting diagnosis of AIED and Meneire’s Disease have created a highly emotional journey in my life right now. I’m looking for a much needed rest stop exit from this particular unwanted and uninvited “bumpy highway”. May I find strength, acceptance, and a certain calm I know is awaiting me just around the corner. May those around me find empathy, love and a desire to accept and support if they so chose along with the knowledge that I am doing the best I can with what I have. So, who wants to join me in that grove of trees up ahead? There is a green grassy hill, plenty of cool shade and a ice laden drink waiting to comfort us both.