pitterpat

COMPU-RATATOUILLE UN-DELICIOUS

Serves-Plenty
Cook Time-Weeks

This is the ultimate high-tech I love to have it all recipe. Start with good-natured stock, preferably young people who are committed to a lifetime of companionship. Allow time for all ingredients to mature and grow before adding too many complicated and expensive items as this may make the stock bitter and tough. Top this recipe off with a large dollop of humility, patience and love.

INGREDIENTS

1 one story 3 bedroom 2 bath, 2 car garage house,

with unfinished attic

1 happy to be empty nesters married couple, photo of your choice:

1 HP Desktop Computer: Dual Processor, 2GB memory, 300GB harddrive, just under 2 years old, still under warranty:

DIRECTIONS

Set aside 1 one story 3 bedroom 2 bath house and married couple for now.

To 1 HP desktop dual processor computer add:

1 22″ HP sleek adjustable Tinkerfied screened monitor

1 My Book terrabyte external hard drive

Set 1 HP Desktop Computer aside for now.

To attic in 1 one story 3 bedroom 2 bath, 2 car garage house add;

To 1 one story house with unfinished attic add appointment for inspection and cleaning of heating and cooling ducts.

Upon completion of noisy and dirty duct inspection and cleaning of heating and cooling ducts, wait.

(Recipe Note* As with any recipe posted on this site please note: With entry to crawl structure spaceways comes the risk of disturbances, which may result in unpleasant and smelly outcomes. We here at pitterpat can in no way be held responsible for any such outcome.) If such outcomes do occur when following this recipes guidelines please do the following:

To 1 one story 3 bedroom 2 bath, 2 car garage house with unfinished attic add one complete attic inspection:

Upon completion of the total attic inspection which may or may not have resulted in total personal emersion of unpleasant and smelly outcomes and which can in no way be the responsibility of pitterpat’s recipe or any affiliation of pitterpat or subsequent companies who may hold or join her in marriage, the following products are to be used only as a suggestion to the remedy of said outcomes.

After adding the above recommended products, stir often, then wait 3 to 4 days.

As often happens when adding odd and seemingly unconnected products to any intelligent and highly technical recipe multiple problems can occur all at once, resulting in unpleasant odors, unexplained coincidences, unmentionable expletives and multiple late nights. These incidences most often will happen without notice, after all monies are paid and in some but not all cases, stated warranties have run their course.

That said, this is what one of the multiple problems and unexplained coincidences can look like:

Upon inspection of this recipe ingredient it was determined the 1 My Book terrabyte external hard drive had an expired expiration date, or in other terms, was no longer working, after of course all monies were paid and stated warranties had run their course.

Additionally what may appear to be 1 failed portion of the recipe will sometimes present itself as a BOGO or two for one problem, with the 2nd failed portion shown here (click picture to enlarge):

To address this portion of the failed recipe it is recommended you bring in an expert Head Chef in the field, as allowing spouses…..errr……the Chef In Training to closely inspect the ingredients may result in further damage…..ummm….a failed recipe.

Finally, turn all cooking, stewing, cursing and mulling over to Head Chef.
Wait.
Taste for doneness.
Season as needed.

Serve if desired, or refer to Head Chef notes, seen below:

Head Chef Notes:

Pictures of discussed 1 happy to be empty nesters married couple follow this report.

New recipe ingredients ordered:

1 HP desktop dual processor computer return box
1 new Buffalo brand terrabyte external hard drive ordered

Recipe Diagnosis:

Head Chef – 1 diagnosis of flu – recommendations: bed rest, aspirin, patience
(Head Chef faking looking healthy for photographer AKA Chef In Training and owner of 1 HP Desktop Computer )

Chef In Training – recommendations: phone Dr – diagnosis – Bronchitis – RX medication needed
(Chef In Training not faking looking sick and missing terribly her 1 HP Desktop Computer!)

Head Chef Additional Notes:

HP states 1 HP Desktop Computer: Dual Processor, 2GB memory, 300GB harddrive still covered under warranty, upon receipt will access situation, repair, and return ASAP

French Vanilla Air Filter removed from return AC filter and thrown in garbage. No plans to purchase more in the future.
Odor Eliminator Charcoal remains in attic, no ill effects noted at this time.
Oust Clean Air candles used and found to be effective.

Unpleasant and smelly outcomes otherwise known as unfound deceased rodent in attic odor ceases to exist at present time.

Total attic inspection with cleaning of heating and cooling ducts appear to be effective in cutting down on dust and allergies (with exception to above mentioned deceased rodent episode) as well as significant improvement in air flow and reduced noise in ducts.

End of Head Chef notes.
Signed Out.
End.